Thoughts on Easter

Under normal circumstances, Easter is brought to my attention when my parents call and half-heartedly invite me over for some kind of meal. Usually this is on a Saturday, and less than twenty-four hours before the actual event. Needless to say we aren’t exactly good Christians and will probably see you all in hell before the century is out.

This year, however, Easter has been asserting itself with unusual determination. Though I can, and mostly do, ignore the festive décor, Easter has thrust itself upon me in new and surprising ways: by closing Senate House Library. For four days.

I’m not going to lie; I’m unsuitably enraged. England is supposed to be a secular country (?) and if Passover can slip by unannounced then I don’t see why Easter merits such hysteria. I understand that Jesus died and then rose from the dead (and I’ll resist the urge to make tired Zombie jokes here—you’re welcome) but unless he came back to throw down five thousand words on Pynchon, I don’t really see what any of that has to do with ME.

I have a deadline here.

But this could be an excuse to rival “My Dog Ate My Homework” or my personal favorite, “I had to teach CPR to the Blind”.

I imagine it’d go something like “I’m so sorry my work is late, professor X. Someone very close to me died on Friday. Yes, it was Jesus. But don’t worry—he came back! Yes, I know this happens every year, but it’s a little insensitive to deprecate the pain I feel at losing a loved one. If this is a problem you can just take it up with him. KTHX.”